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Ryan Clark Gets A Most Unwelcome Visitor

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Ryan: Phew! Thank God the NFL didn’t fine me for that hit last week. It’s nice to see cooler heads prevail at the league office, and that they realize now there’s a difference between playing hard and playing dirty. I’m just gonna keep on playing the way I play.

(doorbell rings)

Hmm. That’s funny. I don’t remember ordering takeout or anything like that.

(unlatches door)

Who’s there?

(door flies open)

Tommy: WHO THAH FACK DO YOU THINK YOU AHHHH, CLAHHHHK? HOW DAY-UH YOU FACKIN’ TRY AND TAKE OUT ONE OF THE LEAGUE’S MAHHHHHHQUEE PLAYAHS, YOU FACKIN’ CAWKPOUCH! I’LL FACKIN’ KILL YOU!

Ryan: Who are you?

Tommy: Your warst fackin’ nightmay-uhhh! You think you can just take a cheap shawt at Welkahhh and nawt get the fackin’ wrath of the legendary Beantown faithful raining down on yar fat fackin’ head? YOU GAWT QUESTIONS TO ANSWER, YOU FACKIN’ DAHHKIE!!!

Ryan: What’s a dockey?

Tommy: IT’S YOU, YOU FACK! Did you really think you could get away with this? Typical dahhkie. ALWAYS SLAWPPY WITH THEY-UH HANDIWARK! Once again, thah NFL has screwed us ovah by nawt suspending you farevah! Nawt only have you robbed us of a true Bawston hero, but you have rawbbed the entiah NFL as well. No one wawnts to wawtch games that don’t feetcha Tawm Brady or-ah Wes Welkahhh! THOSE AH THE NFL’S TWO BRIGHTEST SHINING STAHHHHHS! NO ONE DENIES THIS!

Ryan: Hey, I play clean.

Tommy: No, you don’t! Yar dirty! AS DIRTY AS YAR DAHHHHK SKIN! You bettah wawatch out when you come to Quinzee, you fack!

Ryan: Why would I go to Quincy?

Tommy: BECAUSE QUINZEE RAWKS! I have vented my outrage at this harrible tragedy online with my Beantown bruthahs! Look!

This is exactly what I said would happen!!!! The lying pig Peirira says the same thing when the DB dove at Brady’s knee,if this was a Colt being injured or one of the Mannings holy hell would have broken out!!!! Two sets of standards…The next time the NFL fines or suspends a Patriot know this its a conspiracy!!!!

Please Borgess, taking the contrarian view just for sake of it. The NFL has its darlings and they stopped calling for the Patriots after they won their third Super Bowl. The NFL is like wresling now, they make call to influence the outcome of the games. They love the Manning brothers so much that they basically handed Peyton a Super Bowl. It is obvious that the NFL has their favorrites and they don’teven try to hide it anymore.

Ron boring is a idiot. That hit was obviously late. If the situation was reversed and it was a Patriot player doing the hitting he would get suspended.As for Pereira and the NOT Fair League,they have this one wrong. Stop favoring the Steelers, Colts and Giants and do something about this travesty. Stand up and do the right thing and stop being gutless.I can’t believe that this is allowed. If this is okay, how soon before carrying guns will be allowed? Gutless Fools!As for Borges,ever hear of hair replacement?Maybe you could stop being an idiot and demand the NFL do the right thing?

What a big frigging surprise that the NFL defended that hit…Did we think it would actually go AGAINST an opponent..? What a joke the NFL has become. And you, Borges are an even bigger joke. What was your point in bringing up Clark’s past surgery…? Were you trying to evoke sympathy for the guy..??? Give me a break. That hit on Welker was DIRTY…That kid is lucky that he was able to even move or return to a standing position after that. Thank God that he did. Talk about a kid made of steel ~ that’s our Wes Welker. Light was ejected from a game and fined ~ that punk Clark walks away with no punishment at all. Right ~ uh, huh. That’s fair. Next time the Pats play Pittsburgh, they should make some time for retribution on the field on Welker’s behalf. GO PATS…!

Tommy: You heeyah that? Thah NAWT FAY-UH LEAGUE! It’s true! If the league didn’t have it in far us, WE WOULD HAVE WON AT LEAST FARTY THREE SUPER BOWLS! THOSE NEW YARK FAGGOTS WOULDN’T HAVE WON JACK SHIT!

Ryan: I’d like you to leave.

Tommy: FACK YOU! LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY BOY BUG-O!

THIS IS HOW A HAHHHHHT BREAKS!

Ryan: Again, please leave before I call the police.

Tommy: This isn’t ovah, dahhhkie! Everyone knows yar win was TAINTED! BY THE NAWT FAY-UH LEAGUE! And if you don’t think thah great fans of Bawston won’t make you pay, then you don’t know just how strawng ow-uh rooting powuh is! WE WIN THIS TOWN TITLES, YOU FACK! NO ONE DENIES THIS!

You should be suspended! And lynched! My buddy Buttah in Bangah knows how to do it! DON’T THINK WE WON’T COME GET YOU!

Ryan: (closes door) Good bye.

Tommy: This isn’t ovah!!!!!!!


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