You fackin’ Tennessee faggots have gawt some fackin’ narve! Just one yee-ah after my beloved Paytreeuts take they-ah rightful place on footbawl lor-ah by going 16-0, you facks have the bawls to try and go undefeated too! WHO THE FACK DO YOU THINK YOU AHHHH?!!
(drinks 56 oz. can of Joose)
Like you’d even stand a fackin’ chance against the legendary 2007 Pats jugguhnut! Quite pawssibly the greatest team in NFL history! The Pats would beat that team by at least farty seven points. NO ONE DENIES THIS! Who’s gonna defend Welkahhhh? Fackin’ Cartland Finnegan? THAT DAHKIE ISN’T REAL IRISH LIKE THE FACKIN’ TAWMSTAH IS!
(shows off 666 shamrock tattoo on back of neck)
THIS ONE’S FAR MY ANCESTAHS! TOP O THAH FACKIN’ MARNIN TO YAH, YOU CAWKHANDLAHS!
(puts on Timberland boots)
Like these boots? THESE AH MY DAHKIE-STAWMPIN’ BOOTS!
And these fackin’ Titan fans. What a joke. YOU PEOPLE DO NAWT DESERVE TO HAVE AN UNDEFEATED TEAM. Where’s yar fackin’ history? Did you evah chee-ah far Larry fackin’ Bird when you were-ah a kid, like I did? THEN YOU AHHN’T AS GOOD AT BEING SPARTS FANS AS WE AHHHH!!! Ow-uh team has been around longah, and that makes us bettah! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT FACKIN’ BAWSTON FANS ROOT HAHHDAH THAN ANYONE, ESPECIALLY YOU COONCAP-WEARIN’ SHITBAWXES!
Fackin’ jawnny come lately fans, you facks. If you don’t root far the Pats, then you don’t really undahstand what football is all about! YOU AHH CLEARLY JUST BANDWAGON FANS! Not like me. The only reason I sold off my season tickets aftah Tawmmy Brady went down was so I could get these calf implants! Fackin’ look!
(flexes calves)
These ahh pussy-getting’ calves!
I just have to laugh, because it’s clee-ah to anyone who knows this game that thah Titans will suffah come playawff time! You cannawt win in thah playawffs if yar fans ahh nawt on pahhhhh with the legendary Bawston faithful. You watch. If the Pats play the Titans in the playawffs, THAT NASHVILLE STADIUM WILL BE 99% RED SAWX FANS! We love nothing more-ah than going to other stadiums and telling people HOW FACKIN’ AWESOME THE SAWX AHHH! Jeff Fishah’s team won’t stand a chance!
(texts rape threat to ex-girlfriend)
Once again, the fackin’ Pats will triumph. And if we lose, it will be because the Titans clearly gawt lucky, ar becawse the refs facked us, ar becawse farces from the spirit warld deprived us of a victory in arder to keep America fascinated with the awngoing starryline of what it means to be a REAL BAWSTON FAN! SACK ON THAT!
NO MATTER HOW IT TURNS OUT, YOU WILL NAWT BE THE MAIN STARRY! NO ONE CAY-UHS ABOUT SOME FAGGOT NON-BEANTOWN TEAM! You ahh nawt compelling, like we ahhh! THIS IS THE TRUTH!
(puts on cutoff sweatshirt)
So enjoy losing in the playawffs, Titans. Or winning a tainted Supah Bowl! Then enjoy overpaying for Matty Cassel in the awffseason! EVERYONE KNOWS HE’LL TANK WITHOUT OW-UH SUPPART BEHIND HIM! THAT NO GOOD FAGGOT FACK!
THE 2007 PATS WILL ALWAYS BE THE REAL UNDEFEATED TEAM! YOU AHH JUST IMPAWSTAHS! GO CELTIC NATION!