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I AM NOW IN FACK YOU MODE!
FACK YOU! You fackin’ New Yark faggots think you gawt one ovah on Kevin Gahhhnett Nation, but you did nawt! Let me just remind you cawkgabblahs of a few things! (leaves stadium with over 4 minutes to...
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THE FACKIN’ PATRIOTS AHHH FINALLY THE GREATRIOTS AGAIN!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Anathah mastah heist from my boy Billy Belichick and the legendary citizens of LUNCHPAIL NATION! Thanks for the third roundah, Faggesotah! You would’ve just spent that pick on a...
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RANDY MAWSS WAS NAVAH A TRUE GREATRIOT!
Well, well, well. Anathah Awktobah is upawn us. I feel a little chant coming awn, I do believe. How’s that chant go again? Oh, yes. Yes, I remembah now… FACK THE YANKEES! CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP! FACK...
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YOU WILL REMEMBAH THE DAY BRADY GAWT IN A FACKIN’ CAHHHH WRECK!
I’ll nevah fahget the cawll I gawt this marnin’ from my fathah! I was still sleepin’ awff a lawng fackin’ night with HORGS at Daisy Bukes! I facked a fat garl on the pool table and punched at least...
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I HAVE MADE A FACKIN’ DECISION!!!!
Well, well, well! I know you facks have been waiting all fackin’ summah with baited breath far this moment! Everyone out they-ah has been tahhhking about it. “Has Tawmmy made his decision yet? When is...
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YOU FACKS DO NAWT APPRECIATE THESE C’S!
Well, well, well! It’s the NBA Finals tonight, and look who just happens to be pahhhhticipating FAR THE MILLIONTH TIME! That’s right! It’s ow-ah beloved basketball Red Sawx, ONLY THE FINEST...
View ArticleTom Brady Is ‘Cool’ According to Magazine That Once Posed Tom Brady With a Goat
Gisele Bündchen’s most prized accessory will reportedly be named as the 23rd coolest man in America by GQ. Brady–a three-time GQ cover boy–was deemed cooler than Demetri Martin, but less so than the...
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THIS IS A FACKIN’ CONSPIRACY, YOU FACKS!
Well, well, well! Lookee what we have hee-ya! Seems that faggot Bill Pahhhhcells has traded far that dahhhhkie Brandon Mahhhshall! I knew that donutfackah would try and trade far that brickchuckah!...
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NO NOMAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Nomah! Nomah has left the yahhhhhd! You facks cannawt pawssibly undahstand what he meant to the great citizens of NONDAHKIE NATION! (lifts weights in jeans) I remembah back when Nomahhh farst arrived...
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KSK Celebrity Pickakk… FACK YOU!!!
Why ahhhhhh you people even bawthering to pay attention to this Supah Bowl? This was nawt the Supah Bowl America fackin’ WANTED! These ahhhh two faggot teams from smawll mahhhhhhhkets! Everyone knows...
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THIS IS THE END OF A FACKIN’ ERAH!!!!!
It’s ovah! It’s ovah! I can’t believe it! OW-AH PRECIOUS DYNASTY HAS COME TO AN END! You faggots out they-ah cannawt appreciate what you have just seen! Far the past fackin’ decade, ow-ah beloved...
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OW-AH HAHHHHHTS AHHH BROKEN!
January fackin’ thehhhd! A date that will go down in FACKIN BAWSTON SPARTS INFAMOUSNESS! I remembah exactly where-ah I was when I heard the news that ow-ah beloved Wes Welkahhhh had his knee blown...
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YOU FACKS AHHH NAWT THE TRUE 16-0 TEAM!
Well, well, well! You faackin’ quee-ahs from Indy and New Ahhhhhhlins think you have some pretty great teams, don’t yah? You think that, perhaps, you have the greatest fackin’ teams in the history of...
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GIANTS SACK! GIANTS SACK! GIANTS FACKIN’ SACK!
Well, well, well. I should’ve known you Philadelphia faggots wouldn’t be able to get the FACKIN’ JAWB DONE against those GAWDDAMN FACKIN’ NEW YARK CAWKSACKAHS! Nevah send a boy to do a BAWSTON MAN’S...
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YOU CAN’T FACK US OVAH, NATIONAL FA—OT LEAGUE!
Well, well, well! Looks like the National FAGGOT League has it in far Patriot Nation once again! You faggots in the New Yark League Headquahhhtahs thought you could get one ovah on us! BUT NEVAH...
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Peter King Loves Himself Some Meryl Streep
When we last left Peter King and his size 46 chino shorts, he decided against staging a personal boycott of Westin Hotels. Whew. Dodged a bullet there, Westin. Peter King could have single-handedly...
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OW-UH FACKIN’ HAHHHHTS AHHH BROKEN!
NOOOO!!! NAWT YOU, SENATAH KENNEDY! WHY AHHHH WE THE ONLY ONES SADDLED WITH SUCH SUDDEN LAWSSES?!!! THIS IS A STOMACH PUNCH DEATH! You people from othah faggot states don’t get it. He may have been a...
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Gisele And Bridget, Why Don’t You Two Kiss And Make Up? And Then Kiss Some More?
Gisele, Bridget. I wanted both of you to be here tonight because I think we need to clear the air. Bridget, when Gisele said that our son was 100% hers, she certainly didn’t mean it in any sort of...
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WHAT THE FACK??!!!!
Well, well, well! Looks like you Yankee faggots ahhh about to get yar due! Far the legendary SAWX NATION FAITHFUL AHHH PREPAY-UHED FAR OW-UH MOST HISTARIC SEASON YET!!! Wait. What’s this? “Vrabel...
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